My aunt died this morning.
I don't know why I don't feel anything.
I understand loss, I empathise with crying for the departed...However I would rather my death be celebrated....You never know..aren't we going to a better place..where there is no time, no constant or no change...ya sounds boring but I am fascinated by life after death...
However coming back to death,
The first person I saw dead was Sherry, ya he was my dog and in picking him up, his tongue hanging, blood slowly oozing out..I could not believe I would not hear him bark again...
I saw my granny die next...I had spend the day before singing to her in the hospital room....I feel numb...
I choose to do things, I stated cleaning when sherry left, I was comfortable running around for the obituary to reach the newspaper at ammachi's demise...
Now,my aunt is no more, I can only imagine what a loss it is for her kids, my cousins and her brothers and sisters, my aunts,uncles and dad...However I can't join the crowd to cry..I would rather do something...
How does that make me heartless and insensitive? Give me work and I can see anything through...please don't force me in idle customs and traditions that make you mourn loss....
Only in the face of loss do we view what we have, with value...
Since I have been thinking about this, I thought of making a check list of all the things one needs to act on after some one's death...
1. Death certificate
2. Insurance papers
3. Medical documents to be taken from Hospital
4. Mobile phone and personal belongings of the deceased
5. Dressing the deceased for the burial.
6. Transport of body from hospital to home.
7. Slab of ice for body to be placed while waiting for mourners.
8. flowers,agarbatti,room freshner
9. tea, coffee.
10. mostly neighbours pitch in with dinner for family
11. Priest for funeral rituals
12. Obituary to appear in local paper,community magazine and religious magazine.
13. Cemetery arrangements.
14. Dinner/Lunch after funeral.
15. travel and pick up arrangements for visiting relatives.
16. water arrangements. tank filling.
17. Property,lawyer settlements.
As I made this list I realised that so many things just happen naturally in Indian families around the chaos...
when I die, I want to be exhumed....not buried...not mourned...I plan to live life to fullest...each day to the fullest...if someone can make a video of the happy times we spent together that would be cool...But please don't wait till I die to do that...and please don't mourn my loss...I am here, there and in the space between us...
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Since I wrote this post, I have still been collecting different experiences of death,
ReplyDeleteone of frd in ahmedabad, whose cousin is said to have died of swine flu , she was not happy with her life...we not sure if she actually died of swine flu...
the string of events that start of once we die....
On LA ink, a tv show charting tatoo artists, A lady choose to do a tatoo of a butterfly with the skull incorporated in it but a Buddha in the centre....It was on her to do list which she is getting to finish coz she realised after chemotherapy..that she has just 5 years to hang around...why do we wait for Mr. Death to come knocking to get to Life? I LOOOOOVE terry Prachet's painting of Mr. Death....I love him!!!